i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
