Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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