Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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