This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
