Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Randomize
