if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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