wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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