So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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