Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
