we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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