look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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