I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
