just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
