Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize