The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
