Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
