After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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