yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
now i know why i became what i already was.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
