Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Randomize
