So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
