Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
