She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize