You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
