well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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