worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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