YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
