it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
