I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
