yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
