Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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