i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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