There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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