Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
