Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
