We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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