I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
