I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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