She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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