Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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