I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
