so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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