So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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