Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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