Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
