you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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