You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
do nipples grow back?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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