i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
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He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
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I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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