we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
