i may or may not be watching the land before time
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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