11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
