We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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