just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
