In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
