why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
