where does the pee come out of this thing
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
