i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
