Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
